“ 好啦，去见你爸爸最后一面吧。根据华人的习俗，我们盖了官，到了Mandai 就不会再开了。”

I cried. I can't bear to see my precious daddy for the last time. At the very moment, I really can't accept what that happened so suddenly. But I know i have to let go. So i said, " Papa, I love you. " and i walked away..

It really hurts to see PP being sent into the cremation area. I even imagine myself hammering the viewing hall glass and jump down to stop the machine from moving. But mummy told me, " time to send PP off. let him rest in peace. tell him not to think of us or look back a us. go and find ahgong ahma and stay happy in the other world." yup. that's it.

somehow, i feel relieve. I know dad will be happy.

slept like a pig just now. xD

one little two little three little indians,
four little five little six little indians,
seven little eight little nine little indians,
ten little indian boys...

the 1st nursery rhyme dad taught me just appeared in my mind.

i tossed and turned for the whole night. so is mummy and i think korkor too... i always fear this day will come. looking at his face... his droopy eyes... and his hair... i know he's getting older and older each day... i miss him every week in hostel... and i miss nagging him to bed every night... i want to hug him every friday i came back from hostel.. just that i can't express myself well... and i ended up saying.. " eh brother! i'm back! " in hokkien.

being the one seeing how he left... image of him at that point keep floating before my eyes...

i woke up in the morning hoping that it was just a dream and daddy will be sitting at the dining table drinking coffee... writing his 4D. and watching repeated hongkong drama from last night... but he's not... i re-opened my eyes.. hoping to see him beat my butt and ask.. HEY! the sun is already shining on ur butt! still don't want wake up ah?! ... but he's not there...

i woke up at 7am. i took my clothes from the clozet. preparing to bathe. and i realise that the clothes are folded by him. i went to the toilet. i saw his last worn pair of socks in the bucket. i see my toothbrushes nicely aligned. all done by him. i came out from the toilet. saw his clothing hanging on bamboo sticks.. i see his shoes.. his keys.

i came back to my room.. my bed is not done. daddy always ask me: " girl ah! u see la. so big already still need daddy help u pack ur bed. how u marry ppl? if papa gone alr how?? "

every small bit of memories drawing back into my mind...

daddy i really miss you. pls come back...

i did badly for everything. very bad. my gpa is going to be screwed. very screwed.

but i found my calculator.

D: BAD BIG TIME. BIG BAD TIME.

MY CALCULATOR IS LOST. MY 7 YR OLD CALCULATOR IS LOST....!!

i seriously feel like crying..
it was something that i used to be so proud of when i got it in sec 1. i used to envy my elder bro using it when he entered secondary school when i was in K2. and i complained the education system for not letting primary school-ers to use calculators. and hence i was so happy to get my very own calculator in sec 1. and now, it's gone. it's seriously gone. i'm super sad. hopefully it's left in the tutorial room ( which i don't think so cuz i'm pretty sure i checked before i left the room ), and someone passed it to the teacher's desk or just friggin leave it there.

KILL ME AGAIN THAT SOMEONE!!! ( figuratively )

man... this is bad. i've got no chance to get 12/12 for my Linear Algrebra Quizes anymore. i screwed this up. i think i have careless mistake which i don't know where. and i believe my last part of 2nd question will be wrong! pls tell me i can get at least 2.5/3... please.........

the question now is.... should i SU programming? probably not. don't really wanna waste my 12 AUs worth of SUing on a year 1 topic. KILL ME SOMEONE... figuratively.

great. i slept in both lectures again. i should've sleep earlier. i'm kinda just started getting stress over friday's MTH111 paper and the GODLY CALCULUS PAPER NEXT MONDAY. jijirulili!

all the best man priscilla. watch out.

brought mango cake from breadtalk to baby's house. he was half asleep as it's like 12pm already! so i secretly kissed his forehead 2 times! and he went...

" *open eyes* why are you here??? :D"

he's sooooo cute! :B

the last 3 days were indeed 3 of my happiest days in 2010... 2010 was a boredom till 30th August were uni starts. and that's when studying happens after 8 mths of ultimate slacking.

this may sounds like a small girl.

i love my yi xiong. i hope he'll be the one in my life.

so... to my dearest baby who is currently 19 yrs and 1 day old...













khoo yi xiong. i love you. Happy 19th Birthday :D ~